Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Worldly Fruit

Posted in Uncategorized on March 12, 2010 by mysearchforjesus

I don’t usually make posts when I feel I’m in the valleys. But I think the valleys are more telling about our journeys than the mountain peaks. And even though they are exposing, they are real and relevant to me so I’ll try and start posting more than just mountain top experiences. But as of now, I feel like there’s two sides fighting within me. One is Jesus, and the other is the world. Right now my weakness is my patience. God has to keep calling me back because my attention is continually lost to the fruits of this world. And the fruits of this world aren’t even fruits that I enjoy. Nonetheless, they’re fruits that I take in anyway and that I believe are killing me slowly one-by-one to God. And I know this, yet I continually get lost in the path of this world eating the poisoned fruit which is even sour to my taste, but it fills me up so I continue. Also, I don’t have a lot of revelation on direction right now, and because of that I am tempted to take things into my own hands and create my own way. I am drawn away from God because I haven’t seen any fruit from Him in awhile and maybe that’s because he’s trying to create a lasting endurance of some sort within me. I don’t know. But I know I need to be more faithful towards God, especially in the fruitless seasons. I don’t want to have to be given a cookie every time I take a step towards Him. I should choose Him because He is the only thing that will be left when this world ends. And when these blinds in front of my understanding are pulled back, He will be better than anything I can comprehend now. I can’t help but worry that God will eventually tire of my continual falling. I guess there’s still some part of me which is still ignorant of how faithful God is and how much he loves me. I still regularly pray for the grace from God to reveal His love to me. And if your reading this ask Him to send some love this way.. Sorry for the dark and dreary post, just trying to be real.


A million miles in 2.5 years

Posted in Uncategorized on February 8, 2010 by mysearchforjesus

I’ve recently started trying to better myself through setting goals and actually trying to give meaningful form to my life. Prior to recently my life has sorta gone with the wind without any real objectives. I’ve never had any lifelong ambitions that have served as a guide, but instead only temporal ambitions which have led me down rabbit trails to no where. I’d always be left at the end of one these rabbit trails without much sense of accomplishment and confused to why I was here. But before now, I really was clueless to who I was, what I was made for, and what lit my heart on fire and turned on all cylinders. I definitely don’t know now, but I finally think I’m starting to get pointers. I feel like I know a lot about what my life will not be about, but not a lot of what it will be about. I’m just searching for that life that kicks on all cylinders and stops this sleep walk through life. The life that God foresaw when he delightfully made me. Which makes me really wonder, what did God put in my inmost being? Its not meant to be kept from me, in fact I’m sure He can’t wait to tell me. I’m excited about what God has for me, and I’m glad I don’t know what it is. Because I can finally say with assurance: whatever it is He will be with me.

For you created my inmost being;
       you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well.

 15 My frame was not hidden from you
       when I was made in the secret place.
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

 16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
       All the days ordained for me
       were written in your book
       before one of them came to be.

 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
       How vast is the sum of them!

Jar of Clay

Posted in Uncategorized on August 8, 2009 by mysearchforjesus


Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Mark 14:37-38

We have the Holy Spirit in our weak body, our jar of clay. I must learn to submit to the Spirit within me instead of my weak body. So I must fix my eyes on what is not seen instead of what is seen. Because what is seen is only temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4)

I believe one of the keys to focusing on the unseen is fasting and praying. When I do this I’m denying to upkeep my jar of clay and instead I’m feeding my spirit through the Word. I’m letting my jar of clay become weak so that the all-surpassing power of God inside me bleeds through. I feel like if I let my jar of clay remain strengthen then I’m concealing what the grace of God has done within me. And maybe the lost people around me won’t smell that aroma of Jesus within me and will never see past my outer jar of clay.

I feel like we live in a world where all the attention is paid towards our jar of clay, instead of what really matters, which is what is inside our jar of clay. This is a hard refocusing for me because the world and culture I grew up in has always taught me to tend to what is seen. But this is something I feel the Lord is showing me now, and will continue to unveil for me. Because like Jesus said “Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” So now I’m seeking deeper revelation to know what it is to live on every word that comes from the mouth of God instead of worrying so much about my weak body.

Big Impact through Obedience

Posted in Uncategorized on July 13, 2009 by mysearchforjesus

It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world. -Chaos Theory

The phrase “The Butterfly Effect” refers to the idea that the single flap of a butterfly’s wings change the initial conditions of the system enough to cause large-scale phenomena (hurricanes and such) since any variation in the initial conditions is vastly magnified with each repetition of a wing flap. And every flap of every butterfly wing in the world continually changes those conditions.

I find this as an encouraging example in nature of how small influences of the world can eventually greatly impact the world. If a single flap of a butterfly wing can possibly cause a hurricane on the other side of the world; then how much more of an impact on the world would one obedient man of God make. God just needs one man to stand in the gap. This is encouraging to me, hope it is for you.

“The people of the land practice extortion and commit robbery; they oppress the poor and needy and mistreat the alien, denying them justice. “I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none. So I will pour out my wrath on them and consume them with my fiery anger, bringing down on their own heads all they have done, declares the Sovereign LORD.” – Ezekiel 22:29-31


One Sacrifice

Posted in Uncategorized on July 9, 2009 by mysearchforjesus

Jesus blood weight

“For the Law, since it has only a shadow of the good things to come and not the very form of things, can never, by the same sacrifices which they offer continually year by year, make perfect those who draw near. Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, because the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have had consciousness of sins? But in those sacrifices there is a reminder of sins year by year. For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins.” Hebrews 10:1-4

The 4,000+ years of sacrifices made to God before the time of Jesus never took away any sins (to go with the picture analogy, all those animals don’t weigh anything). These sacrifices were only an annual reminder of the sins of the people, and that the sins had to be paid for. These 4,000+ years of sacrifices were a foreshadowing of the Messiah to come and pay for them all. Through these annual sacrifices, the Jews had it ingrained in their culture that sins had to be paid for. Then Jesus is revealed and labeled as the “Lamb of God” by John the Baptist, when the Jews heard this they must have been star stuck. After countless sacrifices and thousands of yearrs the Lamb of God was finally here to pay for sins with one grand sacrifice, Himself.

I just wonder what John the Baptist was thinking. He was probably the only one with true revelation of who Jesus was at that time. And after a lifetime of preparing the way for the Lord, he finally sees Jesus and immediately knows its him through the Spirit of God. That has got to be one of the greatest moments of joy felt by a man in human history. I wonder what it would have been like if John the Baptist didn’t go to jail and instead followed Jesus for his 3 ½ years of ministry. But maybe it would have been a lot harder for people to relate to John the Baptist than the simple fishermen he chose instead.. just a thought cause I don’t know.

But Hebrews 10 explains this picture pretty well I think if you want to read more into it.

The Lamb of God

Posted in Uncategorized on July 8, 2009 by mysearchforjesus

jesus lamb

“Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” John 1:29

John the Baptist, the anointed man of God who was sent ahead of Jesus to prepare the way for Him called Jesus the “Lamb of God”. But for what reason? John the Baptist could have called Him by so many of His other names (King of Kings, Prince of Peace, Son of Man, Messiah of Israel, Savior of the World, Son of God, etc.) but he chose to identify Jesus by calling him the Lamb of God. That title was loaded with meaning to the Jewish crowd who was with John the Baptist. John the Baptist laid stress on this point for the benefit of the Jewish audience who was with him. Identifying Jesus as a Lamb immediately marked Jesus as a sacrifice to God; the lamb had been God’s preferred sacrifice since Abel. God had already foreshadowed Jesus’ sacrifice when a lamb, “without blemish, a male…” Exodus 12:5, saved the entire Jewish people back in Egypt. But the lambs in Egypt were only for the Jewish people, Jesus, the Lamb of God, was sufficient to take away the sins of the whole world. Understanding this Jewish connection helps us to see the beautiful picture that God is making of saving this fallen world. It also helps us become better witnesses to the Jews.

All this information is from a series Zola Levitt did. “The Miracle of Passover” Zola is a Jew converted to Christian, and he has great insight on the Jewish traditions that help Christians better understand Christianity. I highly recommend reading his stuff, I have most of his stuff if anyone wants to borrow.

And picture is from

Fix your eyes on Jesus

Posted in Uncategorized on July 7, 2009 by mysearchforjesus


“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” – Hebrews 12:1-3

These are just a few of the many distractions the world has to offer to me. I pray that these distractions are faded away by the brilliant light of Jesus as he is constantly revealing more of Himself to me. I pray for a pouring out of God’s grace here.